The Epsilon Program is one of the most mysterious Strangers & Freaks missions in GTA V. The mystery comes from the complicated dialogues. Some, if not all, of the messages, are vague and cryptic, making it difficult for GTA V fans to comprehend the meaning of the exchanges between Michael and the followers of the Epsilon Program (Epsilonists).

Now, these facts about the Epsilon Program are meant to help you understand the bigger picture of the Epsilon Program. The reason why Rockstar made this faction in GTA 5 is also interesting. Without further ado, here are facts about the Epsilon Program in GTA 5.

1. A Global Cult

It’s no secret that the Epsilon Program is a heretical religious sect. While its main purpose is similar to other religions or beliefs -- which is to bring the Epsilonists closer to the Divine -- the teachings are not aligned with societal norms.

Aside from that, the Epsilon Program also requires the followers to spend an absurd amount of money at the cost of the teachings. Thus, only the wealthy can become Epsilonist.

2. Rockstar’s Parody of Scientology

Scientology is a religious group in America that has gained popularity across the globe and is well known as the religion of the affluents. Many of the followers later admit that they’ve spent tens to millions of Dollars for Scientology.

On top of that, Scientology also has beliefs and principles that are contrary to the popular belief. For example, Scientologists use a dating system called AD (After Dianetics), where Dianetics is also a book written by L. Ron Hubbard that was published back in 1950.

Ron Hubbard is the founder of Scientology, and the followers of this cult see Dianetics as their religious texts.

Scientologists also believe that around 75 million years ago, there’s a tyrant ruler called Xenu. Xenu is the ruler of the Galactic Confederation, which consists of 29 stars and 76 planets.

Given that all of the 76 planets were overpopulated, Xenu decided to move approximately 1 million of its people to a planet called Teegeeack, which we now know as Earth and stacked them into volcanoes, which eventually detonated using hydrogen bombs.

Shortly after that, Xenu captured the souls of the aliens (Thetans) using an “electronic ribbon”, and took them into some kind of a cinema, where the Thetans were forced to watch a 3D colossal motion picture for 36 days straight.

After that, the Thetans attached themselves to human bodies, resulting in human mental health problems. And here’s where the teachings of Scientology are needed (according to them) to cleanse the Thetans from the human body.

3. Has 12 Outlandish Tenets

The beliefs and the tenets of the Epsilon Program can be found on the in-game website, and it’s clear that these 12 tenets are not aligned with societal norms.

However, bear in mind that the wordings of Epsilon’s tenets are not for underage readers. Reader discretion is advised.

Here are the 12 tenets of the Epsilon Program:

1. The world is 157 years old - FACT!

2. Dinosaurs are a lie that people believe because they are weak - FACT!

3. You are happy, you just don’t know it - FACT!

4. We all come from the same tree - FACT!

5. Everyone is related to everyone else, except for people with red hair - FACT!

6. Sperm does not exist -  it’s a lie spread by biology teachers - along with everything else you have ever been told - FACT!

7. Men are supposed to lie with nine new partners a week. Women are supposed to lie with six, except for in July, when they must lie with five men a day - FACT!

8. Aliens exist and are present on earth. If you have a birthmark, you may be descended from Kraff, the famous Emperor of the 4th Paradigm - FACT!

9. Trees talk, but only some people hear them - FACT!

10. People who believe in something live much longer than atheists, and they have eternal life thrown in for good measure - FACT!

11. If you believe this and turn your hands and wallet over EPSILONISM, you’ll live a happy life. Otherwise, you are doomed - FACT!

12. KIFFLOM - HAPPINESS IS YOURS! KIFFLOM!

4. Charles Manson Was Once a Follower of Scientology

Charles Manson was known to the Los Angeles residents as the leader of the cult Manson Family, the group responsible for the murder of three families in Los Angeles, including the Hollywood actress, Sharon Tate.

Manson reportedly began studying Scientology in 1961 and had gone through 150 hours of the auditing process. He admitted that his goal of studying Scientology is to get an understanding of his own way of thinking. Yet, after going through the long auditing process, Manson decided to leave Scientology, claiming that it was too ludicrous, even for him.

5. The Epsilon Website Is Only Accessible for Michael

Given that Michael is the only protagonist in GTA V who lives in luxury, he’s the only one who can access the Epsilon Program website. After all, everything related to the teachings of Epsilon can only be accessed after paying a ridiculous amount of money.

However, both Franklin and Trevor can still interact with the people who promote the Epsilon Program around Vinewood. They can also go to the Epsilon Program site, although a message will appear, that says, "Access denied! Your IP has been logged as that of an Unsaveable!"

On the site itself, there’s a section about the “Unsaveables”, which explains that there are people who are simply can’t be saved. These people are those who have no connection to the Epsilon Program, and Epsilon claims that they are doomed to a miserable life, just because they’re not part of the Epsilon Program.

6. A Tax-Exempt Organization

When asked "Is Epsilon a religion?", their answer is, "For tax purposes, yes." This answer has solid ground.

In various countries including the US, religious organizations are generally exempt from income tax. So, Epsilon’s income from donations and other sources will 100% go to their pocket.

It seems that it’s Rockstar’s way to tease Scientology, which always claims as a religion when it comes to tax and other financial issues.

7. Will Open A House of Worship in Jakarta

On the ­in-game Epsilon Program website, they wrote that Epsilon is proud to announce that it’s constructing a new house of worship in the Middle East, standing at 2,800 feet, complete with a crystal staircase, which symbolizes the ascension to the Ninth Paradigm. The building was expected to be completed in 2015.

Aside from that, they also announce that they’re planning on constructing houses of worship in major cities around the globe, such as San Fierro, Jakarta, Sao Paulo, Roma, and Alaska.

This is another instance of Rockstar making fun of the cult, considering that Scientology is a religious group with a global presence. There are even some countries that have recognized Scientology, such as the United States, Australia, Portugal, Spain, Slovenia, Sweden, Croatia, Hungary, and Kyrgyzstan.

8. Hollywood Stars Followers

On the Epsilon Program website, they also have a Celebrity section, which lists Vinewood stars who are proud members of the program.

It’s a similar case with Scientology, as it’s been known as a belief that’s popular among Hollywood stars. Huge names like John Travolta and Tom Cruise are said to be part of Scientology.

In 1955, L. Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology, made a Project Celebrity, to boost the popularity of the cult. They even have a building called the Church of Scientology Celebrity Center International in Los Angeles, California.

9. Exists Since GTA San Andreas

Rockstar’s parody of Scientology has actually been around since GTA: San Andreas, which was released back in 2004. In that game, you can listen to Lazlow Jones interviewing Chris Formage, the leader of the Epsilon Program on Lazlow’s Radio show.

It also appeared in GTA: Vice City Stories, and GTA IV, where Marnie Allen makes an appearance in Liberty City, begging Nico Bellic for some money to get some drugs. But at that time, Marnie Allen was still not part of the Epsilon Program.

On top of that, Epsilon Program also appeared in Red Dead Redemption II, although it’s not mentioned verbally.

10. You Can Gain $2,100,000 From the Mission

In the last mission of the Epsilon Program called “Unknowing The Truth”, Michael is tasked to escort the Epsilonists convoy, transporting money bound to Cayman Island.

If Michael complies with Cris Formage’s instructions, he will be rewarded with an old tractor by the Epsilon Program. However, if Michael decides to betray the Epsilon, he can flee and take away the Tailgater along with the $2,100,000 cash inside.

11. The Worship of Kraff

Throughout a series of Epsilon Program missions, Michael will hear the Epsilonists mention Kraff’s name on multiple occasions, including Cris Formage. Kraff is believed as the God of the Epsilonists and is the Emperor of the 4th Paradigm.

Apart from that, as you can see in one of the tenets, people who have birthmarks are also believed to be descendants of Kraff.

12. The Original Test on Scientology Website

On the in-game Epsilon Program website, Rockstar provides a survey called the Epsilon Program Identity Evaluation, which contains 10 questions. After answering all of these questions, the site will show an evaluation of Michael’s personality based on the answers. The result will be related to Epsilon Program and have nothing to do with other psychological tests in general.

No, on the website Scientology: Oxford Capacity Analysis, they also offer a Free Personality Test, which consists of 200 questions, where the questions are similarly bizarre. For example "Are you always getting into trouble?", or "Are you ever ill at ease in the company of children?"

As it turns out, at the end of the test, I didn’t get any detailed evaluation from the 200 questions I had previously answered. Instead, they offered a seminar and a book titled Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health.

So, those were the 12 FACTS about the Epsilon Program in GTA V, and how Rockstar is blatantly making fun of Scientology in some of their games. What do you guys think? Should Rockstar continue making a parody of Scientology in their upcoming games?

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